Timey flowy

I made one resolution last year and kept none. And the resolution was just that — to not contrive everything.

Lists can be good but then to note, I rarely stick to them.

Travel more; Flights tire me. Discover new places; I went to NYC every quarter. Eat clean; otherwise isn’t an option with my gut strength (it is non-existent). Read more; I did but I discarded comfort genres. Write more; I did, just not here. Love more; I did with a great support structure in place.

But I also failed in every aspect of life, throughout the year. And now maybe failure is a reductive thing to say because each time, I pivoted. ‘Ought to be like this’ turned to ‘isn’t like this, can be like this’.

Is there a satisfaction in the effort of remembering that provides its own nourishment, and is what one recollects less important than the act of remembering?

The narrative is that it ultimately turned out to be more fun — I learned how wars were won by weaponizing food & blankets in NYC, took a flight to look at Georges Seurat’s work in Chicago, and stayed on an estate in the Blue Mountain hills of Jamaica.

Every place had its strange people who had me stranded like a lost puppy — but each had kind strangers who made sure I was safe.

I cold-called/emailed charities and paved the way for collaboration at the organizational level — we spearheaded the collective power of strength. I may never know each benefactor but in collective good, we believe.

I spent half a day reading & re-reading the very interesting clash of minds over Uber’s valuation — Ashwath Damodaran vs Bill Gurley. The human psyche vs what the numbers say i.e. valuations and venture capital are my everyday tasks & musings.

I asked for help when I needed it — that people do things for us & we do the same is an actual sentence I had to write down. In return, I now have a mentor who has an eagle-eye view of my energy vs my goals. And it teaches me that we all need relationships/people that we deeply care for.

I made a great set of friends that balance me out and when we aren’t doing that, we are playing every set of beer pong & WereWolf together.

Adulting is not that easy, but with more days ahead than behind — I have learned that you have to be soft, and loud, and take space and solitude in many a equal proportion.